Israel news summary

Purim Edition 2020

News Update

(This news is satire. Happy Purim!)

Leaders of Israel’s left-wing parties have secretly reached out to Bernie Sanders and offered him leadership of their joint block. Political experts say that the main reason for the offer is that leftist leaders acknowledge that Sanders has won more Jewish votes in the US than they have in Israel, and they believe that with Sanders at the head of the ticket, they could finally get a respectable number of Knesset seats.

Sanders reportedly has declined their offer, even though he is happy with the Israeli free healthcare for all system, because there are simply too many billionaires with too much power in the country. He also would rather move to a retirement community in South Florida, instead of shlepping all the way to Israel.

The ultra-orthodox parties are demanding that they will only join a government that does not include any women. They also are refusing to participate in a coed Knesset. As a show of good-will, however, the party leaders plan to create a new Ministry of Cooking, Cleaning and Child Rearing which would have a woman minister at the helm and be totally staffed by women. In an unusual move, the Arab block, has agreed to join forces with the ultra-orthodox parties to make the new ministry, and a woman free Knesset, a reality.

In a related story, extreme elements in the ultra-orthodox rabbinate are demanding that all mention of Esther be removed from the Purim story, since it is immodest to have a woman heroin in the forefront of …. anything. They propose to change the Book of Esther to the Book of Mordecai and modify the storyline in a way that better reflects the recently new and improved Jewish laws of modesty. All queen costumes worn by women will also be banned. But men will still be allowed to dress up as queens, as long as they remain closeted the rest of the year. Yentl is still a no no.

In an unexpected move to make the Trump peace plan more attractive to Palestinians, Jared Kushner has announced that his family real estate company along with the Trump Organization will allow Palestinians to move into thousands of their lower income apartment units at drastically reduced rents. The Palestinians will be granted immediate US citizenship as long as they come prior to the 2020 presidential election and register to vote. The Kushner and Trump organizations will receive government subsidies and tax breaks for the first 2 years, after which time they will be able to raise rents to full market value and evict tenants as needed.

While the response from Palestinians has been muted, tens of thousands of Israelis have rushed to apply for the new Kushner initiative. White House officials have clarified that the initiative is exclusively for Palestinians, but that hasn’t stopped Israelis from moving to the US in droves, even at full market prices.

In an attempt to prevent the spreading of the coronavirus, the Chief Rabbi of the Western Wall has ordered the wall to be completely covered with plastic. There will be several designated slots in the plastic where people can drop their notes. People visiting the Wall are asked to refrain from dragging their fingers down the plastic so as not to make that annoying sound that everyone hates.

And finally, as they do every year, the Iranian government has filed a suit against Israel in the ICF (International Court of Folly), for the murder of thousands of innocent Persians by Jews during the Purim story. Israel is claiming self defense.

Happy Purim!!

Israel news summary

Israel News for 3-9-2020

News Update

To listen to an audio version click here. (for supporters)

The number of coronavirus cases in Israel has jumped to 39. One of those infected recently arrived from Moscow. He had previously flown to Barcelona and then to Switzerland. He is under self quarantine. Thirty six infected people remain hospitalized.

Israeli soldiers returning from trips abroad are not being allowed to return to their bases.

El Al cancelled its planned Monday evening flight from Newark Airport to Israel. The PM said yesterday that no decision has been made on travel restrictions for passengers entering from the US, but El Al has cancelled flights from several US cities.

Israel Hotel Association president Amir Hayek warned of mass layoffs and hotels closing down, and that “the hotel sector in Israel is on the brink of collapse.” He called for massive government aid.

The Hotel Association’s figures show that as things stand, the estimated annual damage to the sector is NIS 4.2 billion – NIS 350 million a month. Hotel occupancy has plummeted to less than 40%, an average of 30% less than in the corresponding period last year. The decline is worst in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, where occupancy is 30%.

Israel’s stock market is also taking a plunge, along with the rest of world markets.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu held an emergency conference call with European leaders about the corona outbreak. Participants included the Chancellor of Austria, the President of Cyprus and the Prime Ministers of Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, Croatia and Romania.

Israel news summary

Israel News for 3-6-2020

News Update

To listen to an audio version click here. (for supporters)

All the votes have been counted and the election results remain:

Likud – 36

Blue and White – 33

Arab List – 15

Shas – 9

Yisrael Beyteinu – 7

Labor-Meretz – 7

UTJ – 7

Yamina – 6

That gives the Right Wing block 58 seats, which means that PM Netanyahu will need to either convince 3 opposition MKs to join his coalition or form a unity government with Blue and White.

Avigdor Lieberman has pledged to support a bill drafted by Benny Gantz that would prevent an indicted MK from forming a government. The Knesset reconvenes on Monday March 16, and Blue and White currently controls the House Committee, which sets the agenda for votes in the Knesset plenum. The bill would be supported by the 62 MKs who are not part of the right-wing block, including Lieberman’s Yisrael Beyteinu.

Israel’s Ministry of Health has announced that 2 more Israelis have been diagnosed with the coronavirus, bringing the total number to 17. One new case is a person who returned from Italy last week but has remained in self quarantine at home. The other is an Arab bus driver from East Jerusalem who drove a tour bus with 21 Greek tourists who subsequently tested positive for the virus.

Israel Police announced it will begin to crack down on citizens who violate the Health Ministry’s quarantine directives. Police said it has opened eight criminal investigations against Israelis who have violated the state’s home quarantine rules or tried to fool health ministry inspectors. Violators could face up to seven years in prison.

Lufthansa, Swiss and Austrian Airlines have cancelled all flights to Israel until the end of March. On Wednesday the Health Ministry ordered all travelers arriving from Germany, France, Spain, Austria and Switzerland to self quarantine. El AL laid off 1,000 of its 6,000 employees earlier in the week.

According to Syrian media reports, at least one Syrian soldier was killed and four others wounded in Israeli missile attacks in south-west Syria yesterday.

Newsweek has ranked Sheba Medical Center at Tel Hashomer near Tel Aviv as one of the world’s top ten hospitals (#9) for the second year in a row. Newsweek cites Sheba as a top general hospital as well as its specializations in rehabilitation, pediatrics, women’s health, post-traumatic stress disorder and eating disorders. Also mentioned are the hospital’s breakthrough research in cardiology, gynecology, genetics and medical education.

Israel news summary

Israel News for 3-4-2020

News Update

To listen to an audio version click here. (for supporters)

With 99% of the vote in Israel’s elections counted, the right-wing bloc appears to have lost one Knesset seat from earlier results bringing its total number to 58. Blue & White gained one seat at the expense of the ultra-Orthodox Shas party.

Here are the latest results:

Likud – 36

Blue and White – 33

Arab List – 15

Shas – 9

Yisrael Beyteinu – 7

Labor-Meretz – 7

UTJ – 7

Yamina – 6

These results still do not include the 340,000 votes from military polls, the votes of diplomats overseas and the tally from special polling stations including over 4000 votes from the dedicated stations set up for voters who have been exposed to the coronavirus.

While it’s still possible for the uncounted votes to potentially swing the final results by 1 seat in either direction, it looks like PM Netanyahu has won the mandate to form a new government and will now need to engage in some very serious political deal making to get the 61 seat majority he needs to succeed.

Blue and White sources are saying that party leader Benny Gantz has efforts to pass a law that would prevent an indicted MK from forming a government. The Knesset reconvenes on Monday March 16, and Blue and White currently controls the House Committee, which sets the agenda for votes in the Knesset plenum. The bill would be supported by the 62 MKs who are not part of the right-wing block.

Israel’s Ministry of Health has announced that three more Israelis have been diagnosed with the coronavirus. This brings to 15 the number of Israelis stricken with the virus. The three new cases found are a female soldier who works part time in the Red Pirate toy store in Or Yehuda and a customer who spent 15 minutes in the store. Both contracted the disease from the store manager who returned from northern Italy last week. The third new case is a person who returned from Italy last week but has remained in self quarantine at home. All three new cases are mild.

Around 5,000 people who attended a soccer match at Tel Aviv’s Bloomfield Stadium last week have been ordered to immediately self-quarantine after it was discovered that a 9th grader infected with coronavirus at the toy store in Or Yehuda was among a crowd of fans.

In addition, the health ministry ordered all 1,150 students and staff at a school in Brenner Regional Council, attended by the infected teenager, to self-quarantine until March 12. The second patient who also contracted the virus at the store is a deputy school principal in the city of Kiryat Ono in central Israel. She and 27 of her students were also ordered to self-quarantine.

Israel news summary

Israel News for 3-3-2020

News Update

To listen to an audio version click here. (for supporters)

With 90% of the votes counted, Here are the results:

Likud – 36

Blue and White – 32

Arab List – 15

Shas – 10

Yisrael Beyteinu – 7

Labor-Meretz – 7

UTJ – 7

Yamina – 6

The results give the right-wing block 59 seats, which is short of the 61 needed for a Knesset majority and a government. The right-wing block total does not include Yisrael Beyteinu, whose leader, Avigdor Lieberman, has refused to join a coalition with the religious parties in the past.

The final election results will not be released until later today. In addition to the remaining 10% of the votes, 340,000 votes from military polls, the votes of diplomats overseas and the tally from special polling stations including over 4000 votes from the dedicated stations set up for voters who have been exposed to the coronavirus will also need to be reported.

So there is still a chance that Likud or one of the other right-wing parties might pick up another seat or two to give Netanyahu the 61 seat majority he needs to form a government. Or they might lose a seat or 2 and make it more difficult for him.

If, after the final votes are counted, Netanyahu remains 1 or 2 seats short, it is likely that he will try to convince 1 or 2 of the more right-wing members of Blue and White to join his government. Or perhaps Lieberman will be more open to negotiating this time around.

The only thing that is certain is that Israelis do not want a fourth round of elections, so a deal must be made to form a government.

A few observations:

  1. Voter turnout was at its highest since 1999
  2. The Arab party is the third largest in the Knesset
  3. The fact that Netanyahu has been indicted and will be standing trial did not stop people from voting for him
Israel news summary

Israel News for 3-2-2020

News Update

To listen to an audio version click here. (for supporters)

Israelis are heading to the polls today for the third time in less than a year. The leaders of all parties called on their supporters to come out and vote. The voter turnout is the highest since 1999. There are also 16 specially designated polling stations for the thousands of Israelis who have been placed in home-quarantine after possible exposure to the coronavirus.

IDF forces attacked a vehicle in the Syrian Golan Heights that was involved in an attempted sniper attack against forces in the Golan.

Thousands are attending the AIPAC Policy Conference in Washington, DC, which began on Sunday and ends on Tuesday. PM Netanyahu addressed the conference by video yesterday, slamming Bernie Sanders for his “libelous charges” against Israel and Netanyahu himself. He also praised President Trump’s peace deal and the US-Israel alliance.

Former VP Biden addressed the conference via recorded video and promised to ensure Israel’s security and support a two-state peace solution.  Former Mayor Mike Bloomberg will speak live at AIPAC on Monday. He is the only Democratic candidate that will be there in person.

Serbian President Aleksandar Vucic spoke at the AIPAC conference and announced that his country plans on opening a diplomatic mission and an economic office in Jerusalem.